Here’s a Tip…..

So in overthinking the direction of this blog (as I often do…) I stalled for a minute.

So lets just dive right in and talk about The Tip.

A group of swanky ass restaurants in New York are experimenting with a tip ban.

Another one bites the dust in NY

I get more than a little crazy when people get so worked up about tipping.

Is this really the most important issue on your plate!? I can fix that for ya..

Do we not have Terrorism?

Global Warming?

Donald Trump?

Most Bartenders are bringing drugs and crime! They are rapists…and some of them (I assume)                      are good  people.


Most tipped employees do not make a ton of money

There are (according to this article) around 4 million tipped employees in the U.S and around 2 million waiters and bartenders.

I actually thought those numbers were much higher… but whatever.

There are a LOT of us.

So lets get honest about the tip.

It’s admittedly a shitty system with no real guarantees.

So why do service people rale so hard against changing it?

Because money damnit! That’s why.

Because the changes proposed over and over would put us in the hole.

Service work is one of the few (if not the only) trades you can learn without an education left in this country that can pay your rent and put food on the table. Changing it would raise overhead for restaurants and turn service jobs into crappy jobs that support no one.

Aaand your food would still cost more.

Some places are now using a “service charge” instead.


I’ll tell you what it is.

Tipping is optional. A service charge is not. Why is it so offensive to have to figure it out for yourself?

It isn’t unless you are a cheapskate.

So here is a perspective for all you cheapskates that I’ll bet you haven’t heard before.

Go ahead and stiff me baby.


I have found that the world is full of generous people.

And if I do my job well those people pay me to make their lunch or dinner a little better and their day a little brighter.

Those folks make up for you cheapskates that come in looking for a problem or a reason to leave me a crappy tip.

I don’t worry about y’all too much anymore.

And seriously.

Go feed a hungry child or plant a tree rather than fixing something that as far as we are concerned isn’t broken.







Saturn Return

Saturn Return is an astrological event that happens around your 30th birthday.

Without getting into the technicallities and the deeply new age, hippy dippiness of it all, It means that whatever your doing around that time is likely to be what your doing for the rest of your life.

At 30 I was still waiting tables.


And almost 20 years later I’m still doing it.

I have gone from corporate steak houses, to fine dining, dive bars and back again several times.

For years I swore that each and every job I had would be my last.

I don’t bother with that anymore.

I have simply asked all of my closest friends and relatives to PROMISE me that if they ever encounter me at a diner off of a freeway exit pushing a cart and wearing orthopedic shoes that they will promptly put me out of my misery..

I feel confident that my family will pull through because most of my cousins are pretty good with a hunting rifle.

There are few things sadder than a deer in orthopedic shoes…..